Nevada - 10:00ish

ACT II

Me:¡JODER! ¡¿Am I just doing this on purpose now?! He even had to flip a U...¡I SUCK!...He's probably looking at a file of yesterday's episode on some special little screen in his dashboard and putting flashing redblueredblueredblue lights around my name...at least my papers are all organized and easy to find this time...¿WTF is wrong with me? ¿Why do I feel like I have to drive so fast? ...This one's going to cost a lot and then we reallyreally won't be able to fix those scrapes from when I hit the frame of Eric's garage door...¡God, I'm never driving anywhere again! I'm definitely not bringing up yesterday, but if he does I'll accept the consequences...Maybe Idaho and Nevada don't share databases...But what if it's like confession and he asks when I last got pulled over...?

The opening strains of "La bien pagá" sound from my red cell phone in its caddy beneath the gearshift. I want to pick it up and wail to my friend but realize that I can't pick it up, nor should I expect much sympathy when I do talk to her and explain that I couldn't take her call because I was getting pulled over again...


Deputy Sheriff: Good morning, ma'am.
Me: Not so much...here's my license, vehicle registration and proof of insurance.
DS: (smiling (¡!)) I don't need your insurance card.
Me: The officer who pulled me over yesterday did. Oh, OK...

The opening strains of the theme song to The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly sound from my red cell phone in its caddy beneath the gearshift. It is the ringtone I've assigned most callers related to me either through DNA or by the power of the great state of Montana. Definitely don't want to pick up...

Me: Oh, God, I'm sorry...
DS: (still smiling) Not a problem (looking at license)...Valerie. (tone serious now) You were going 64MPH.
Me: (confused look)
DS: The speed limit is 35...
Me:( chagrined) I was still in town! Even though it's Jack Pot, I know it's a town, but maybe a 45 MPH town, not a 35MPH town. I mean, not yet anyway, although it's grown remarkably in the last few years and I wouldn't be surprised if it soon becomes the Las Vegas of Northern Nevada, especially given the water issues this state is facing now...
DS: Is there a reason you're driving so fast?
Me: No, especially not after having already been pulled over not even 24 hours ago.
No, but at least I wasn't speeding and talking on my phone while being from California.
Yes, I always accelerate hard off the green light as a courtesy to the drivers behind me.
No, I just behave as though the law doesn't apply to me.
No, there's no reason for my speeding...excessively...in town...
DS: (looking down at me for an infinity )OK, Valerie, I am going to have to cite you.
Me: I know...
DS: But I'm only going to cite you for 10MPH over.
Me: Why? You don't have to do that...I was... Someone should really call me to task for my transgressions.
DS: We all make mistakes. They say, "don't sweat the small sh stuff." This is pretty small stuff.
Me: (biting lip, fighting tears)
DS: It's OK...I'm going to go back and write this up. It's going to be $187.00. You just wait here, alright? It's OK!

Counting my money. I have $87.00. How do you pay a speeding ticket anyway? In MT, I used to just hand over the $5.00 to the officer and continue on my way. Do they take checks from scofflaws like me? Do I stop at an ATM and go in and pay in person? What day is this? Are they even open?

DS: You OK, Valerie?
Me: Why are you being so nice to me? Yes, thanks, officer...or (looking up at the word on his cap)...should that be "Sheriff?"
DS: I'm one of the deputies. Look, I was watching you from my vehicle. I could tell you're beating yourself up pretty bad. I think I'm feeling kind of sorry for you so I knocked the fine down to 5MPH over.
Me: Don't feel sorry for me! Just give me my ticket! I have my pride and don't want your pity! You shouldn't...I mean, thanks...but the law is...I broke it...Wait - how could you even tell I was feeling bad?
DS: Yeah, I'm going to have to do quite a bit of explaining to the judge as to why I dropped 29 miles over to 5 over. But this way it won't get sent in to the DMV, you won't get points on your license, your insurance won't go up.
Me: Oh no! Don't get in trouble...
DS: Look, I've gotten more speeding tickets in the last couple years than you've probably gotten in your life.
Me: Oh shit! You did see yesterday's! (smiling)
DS: OK, so it's going to be $107.00 and here are the instructions for payment. You can mail it in by August 8. Or, of course, you can show up to court and contest it...
Me: (laughing) No, no contesting. Thanks for being lenient.
DS: No problem. Have a good trip. Drive carefully.
Me: Yes...you too.