From the Urban Dictionary (www.urbandictionary.com)
2. advil
A great drug that despite common belief cannot relief [sic] misery, despair and anxiety.
- We broke up. Will Advil take the pain away?
- No.
For the last two nights I've had a headache. Tonight at Steve's Pizza with the Spanish Lit. class it reached its zenith while I was trying to maintain 3 separate conversations. I couldn't find my trusty ziploc of advils. There weren't even any rolling around loose in the bottom of any of my bags. Don't act so shocked, you've seen me take an advil (and other very necessary pharmaceuticals) retrieved from much worse places. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Here are places I've picked up that pill and taken it because it was a. one of my last or b. very expensive: 1-under the floormat in the car 2-my desk drawer 3-my kitchen floor 4-the car seat (i.e.my crotch) 5-the sidewalk in front of Sinn Fein's headquarters in Belfast. They've probably got me on camera dropping, then bending over to pick up 4 advils, contemplating them in my palm for half a second before knocking them back, and I don't care - my back was killing me that day and you know, that Advil didn't even really kick in until I belted down some Bushmill's with it, in an attempt to show that I support a truly united Ireland. Another nice combination is tonight's, Fioricet (in lieu of advil)/red wine (no, don't "...try to to make me go to re-hab...no, no no.").
In a desperate plea for comments, I invite you to answer me this: Where's the sketchiest place from which you've plucked a pill before popping it?
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