"What do you mean you caught a Peeping Tom at my window? What kind of sick pervert would want to peep at me!?"
"I'm so fat and slovenly that I don't deserve to exercise."
"No, no, I insist. You use the bathroom first. I'll just crap my pants."
"My skill set? Well, for one, I'm really good at taking people to the airport."
I'd write more examples, but this list already sucks...
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