Red Onion Review

After almost 3 hours of thrift-store whoring, we were ready for lunch. OK, after 2 hours, I was ready for lunch, but L. made me wait until it was at least noon on the dot. We'd both been wanting to try the new burger joint on Springs, so that's where we went. It's only been open since March and today we were part of a respectably sized crowd that evidently also had been wanting to check it out. Before I took even a bite of my cheeseburger with grilled onions, I knew I'd be happily regretting my choice two hours later. I posted the following on the "Yelp" review website...

"First things first, this eatery is exactly what Vallejo needs! The burgers are pretty much as they were when Bud's stood on the spot that Red Onion now occupies (1321 Springs Road), but the atmosphere is more like Barney's. Excellent service! The waitstaff is very attentive, and they even brought around dessert samples. Be warned: the burgers do come with Miracle Whip...wish I'd known that. Also, the management needs to think about getting sturdier buns. The bread fell apart after two bites. But the burgers are juicy and the oil-saturated fries and onion rings are superior to just about anyone's. To criticize the fattiness of the food at Red Onion would be downright ignorant, not to mention hypocritical - from the moment you walk in the door, you know exactly what you're in for as a fine layer of grease settles into your hair, skin and clothing. Fortunately, the menu also contains a selection of salads, one of which this diner will be ordering the next time I go. God, I need a Dr. Pepper..."