19 March, 2009

They said they liked them...

So I thought maybe I'd keep a collection of my Facebook status updates somewhere other than Facebook in case my addiction gets so bad that I have to delete my account. At least I'll have them somewhere when I do write my crónica. One of the sections will be a categorization in list form, a la monsiváisiana of what people use the status space for. And as I will most likely be tempted to channel the inner Dorothy Parker and be a bit sharp (léase/read: bitchy) in my analysis, evaluation or definitions (léase/read: judgement) of some of the purposes the status updates serve for people, I'd better not exempt myself from the cut.

One would think that the first bitchy thing I'd say is that people who update their status in a language other than English are just showing off. But I can't accuse anyone of that because that's not what I'm doing when I write one in Spanish (I am showing off, however, when I put one in Portuguese). And I am aware that it certainly might look that way to some of my Facebook friends, but the majority of my contacts do it...for us, it's quite often not even conscious. It may seem sort of an exclusionary thing, but I would argue that many others post status updates in English that are way more exclusive or cryptic, either because they are really a message for some select contact(s) or they fall under the "Ask me what I mean" category (véase, por ejemplo/see for example, "Bill is getting impatient.") Sometimes they're just not-so-cryptic ways of declaring something like, "I got ripped and laid!" (esp. with younger users). More categories to be announced in a future post. For now just a general explanation. They all start with the person's name and a verb usually follows. My updates from August/Sept. 2008 appear below and probably contain examples of the above categories, though I'd probably deny it if anyone called me on it.

Valerie Hecht...


is trying to figure out why she'd need a facebook.


is feeling quite Siglo XXI


is afraid that FaceBook is making me its bitch.


is strongly tempted to investigate whether singer Wayne Newton may have been a woman in drag.


is trying to delude herself that decaf still has some calidades despertativas.


should know better by now.


aparece, sin ganas, en las telenovelas que son las vidas ajenas - ¡y sin protagonizar! (and still wants to know what you're reading)


aparece, sin ganas, en las telenovelas que son las vidas ajenas - ¡y sin protagonizar! (and still wants to know what you're reading)


is trying to come down off a shopping high.is no longer allowed to count a medical appointment as a workout.


is ridiculously happy that the dogs are lying on the same rug.


realized a bit late that today was not Thursday.


is experiencing seasonal confusion through the unexpected mixing of unreasonably warm temperatures, congestion and the taste of cough drops...


espera que los sabores de la cena lleguen al alma de los que la comieron.


is cleaning the house, inspired by Milagros and an impending visita de los suegros.


is aware that it's 5:00 somewhere.


is happy to be back in the kitchen, despite the challenge of an ingredient list limited to things that won't poison her multi-allergenic guest.


is fine with the no phone/no TV cabin in the mountains but is praying for wireless.


is no longer wireless-less. I'm in a HoJo in Humboldt county. Can breathe again...and probably should breathe deeply as I am in the county of the good herb...


saw a small fire on her way back to Vallejo and wondered first about the school...then came home to news that her nieces' school in MT burned this AM.


is more intrigued than alarmed that the clock on her cell phone is running backwards.


is reclaiming her house (which is also your house whenever you next visit).


escucha boleros mexicanos y bebe un buen chardonnay mientras prepara mole poblano.


used the search function for the second time and felt stalker-ish until she realized that she's thrilled to get friend requests out of the blue.


accidentally deleted some comments. Would like to put them back.


is very excited that UC Davis has an Olive Center!


is preparing for her 34th first day of school.


hearts facebook, but has hearted seeing actual faces these past 2 días.


is drinking coffee and gaping stupidly at a blank calendar form, trying to set some kind of structure to the strange chronology of this quarter.


has had a 10-day week.


I can't believe I'm resorting to self-bribery: "If I do 5 days of lessons, I can go exchange that curtain rod that's been propped up by the door for 4 weeks."


cocina.


is very excited that UC Davis has an Olive Center!

No comments: